>> SEV-1 INCIDENT REPORT <<

Root Cause: Junior pushed directly to main on a Friday afternoon.
Mean Time to Recovery (MTTR)
Sprint 12
Bugs Fixed Before Prod (Kills)
35
DevOps Budget Burned
$4500
Tech Debt Explosions (Spaghetti)
3
Docs ROI (Passive Income)
$1200
Stack Overflow Copy-Pastes
42
Coffee Cups Consumed
12
Blame Successfully Shifted To
The Intern

Dashboard

PROD HEALTH
20
BUDGET
$200
SPRINT
1
PIPELINE STATUS
Next in 2s

DevOps Tools (Arsenal)

1 Linter
Schießt schnell. Stoppt simple Bugs.
$50
2 Unit Test
Sniper. Massive DMG. Gut vs Leaks.
$100
3 Int Test
Flächenschaden & -50% Slow (2s) im Radius.
$150
4 Scanner
Entfernt Schilde. Markiert Gegner anfällig (+50% Schaden).
$150
5 Docs
Befriedigt Auditors. Spart Onboarding-Kosten (Passives Budget).
$100